When God Says No
During this challenging season of life, I’ve come to value the precious promises of God regarding prayer. Here’s a sampling of verses that have encouraged me.
Matthew 7:7 – “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”
Mark 11:24 – “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”
James 5:16 – “Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you might be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”
I John 5:15 – “And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of Him.”
Powerful words, eh? In light of them, many of you have joined us in persistent intercession for my healing, and for that we are so very grateful. So, allow me to give you an update.
An Update
I was given a PET scan on October 8th to assess the progress of my treatment, and we received some good news. This full-body scan indicated that the prescribed protocol was working. ALL of the tumors and lesions have decreased in size and activity! We were thrilled…and so thankful.
That relief was a bit short-lived, however, when, following my next chemo session, I had another negative reaction: hives, shortness of breath, dizziness, and low blood pressure.
They had tried using a “desensitization” protocol, which gives me the same amount of medication, but over a longer period of time. Starting slowly with a very diluted solution, they gradually bumped up the speed and ratio until I was getting the full-strength oxaliplatin. All the while, they were checking in with me: “How are you doing? Feeling anything different?”
By the end of my nearly 8 hours in the infusion chair, I was doing ok, so they let me go home. We were really hopeful that maybe the desensitization worked. But two hours later, my body rebelled again.
In conversations with my medical team, it became clear that I could no longer receive the oxaliplatin.
This was disconcerting because this medication is one of the chief weapons in fighting esophageal cancer. We’re hoping that the other main weapon, the immunotherapy, will be enough to still make a difference. But to be honest, we were disappointed and not a little shaken.
It’s as if the Lord said, “No. You were right to pray, but this is not what I have for you.”
Prayer’s Mystery
I was once again reminded of the mystery that is prayer. As noted in the verses above, we are encouraged to pray…challenged to pray…and motivated to pray. It’s as if God is making it clear that He is willing, ready, and able to say, “Yes.”
Yet there is a significant caveat when it comes to hearing that word. It’s alluded to in I John 5:14 – “And this is the confidence that we have toward Him, that if we ask anything according to His will He hears us.”
That is to say, there are those occasions when God (for purposes that are many times only known to Him) chooses to act in ways other than we had hoped. In short, He says, “No.”
We may well struggle with this. I know that I do. The Lord’s promises seem so strong. And, after all, what we’re asking for makes so much sense. It would seem to be for our good and even His glory.
Yet I was reminded, even in writing this post, that no less a person than Jesus Himself faced this.
You might remember His agony in the Garden of Gethsemane shortly before His arrest. The Savior saw the horrific suffering that was threatening Him, and His soul shrank back from it. No less than three times, He cried out, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me.” He desperately hoped for a “yes” response.
Yet, He ended that plea with these words of surrender, “Yet not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:39). And, as we all know, His Father’s response was in effect, “No.”
Yet with unwavering faith, our Lord moved forward, determined to submit to His Father’s higher purposes. Such was His trust.
And friends, such should be ours. The idea that we know best or understand the big picture is, frankly, beyond our pay grade. The words of the Lord, as penned by Isaiah, have served me well here:
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8-9
That prayer is such a mystery is undeniable. Yet that it is such a gift is indisputable.
So, keep praying. God’s power can, in fact, be released in so doing. We might well be witnesses to marvelous, even miraculous things.
Yet always bear in mind that there are occasions when the Lord will lovingly yet firmly say in effect, “No.” And it’s then that we need to follow Jesus’ lead.
I was reminded of that just yesterday.
Sad News
In my July 25th post, I mentioned that I began this cancer journey the same day as a young 21-year-old girl. Kaitie and her family had been regular attenders at the church I pastored.
I asked you to join me in praying for God’s healing power to be realized in her, even as you prayed for me. And so many of you did. Thank you.
However, I’m sorry to report that I received a text from Kaitie’s father on October 16th. Kaitie had passed away that morning. I grieve with her family as they heard God say, “No.”
That time will come for all of us. It may not be out of the crisis of cancer, but it will come.
Perhaps you’re facing it even now. You prayed for something…boldly… faithfully…and that which you had so hoped for didn’t happen.
Let me encourage you to follow the example of Jesus and quietly submit to the Father’s higher purposes – mysterious as they might be. “Yet not as I will, but as you will.”
PRAYER REQUESTS
Here’s how you can pray for us in the coming days:
PRAY for Jim and Dee LeGault and their family, as they walk the road of grief.
Next treatment day is Tuesday, October 28. Dave will receive immunotherapy and be sent home with the chemo pump of 5FU. PRAY that these drugs will be effective in attacking and eliminating the cancer in Dave’s body.
Dave will again be receiving a series of shots to increase his WBC levels on Friday through Tuesday. Last time he struggled with back pain that interfered with sleep for several days. PRAY that the bone pain side effects would be minimal this time.
PRAY that we would “rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, and be constant in prayer." (Rom. 12:12)