Embracing Weakness
For several weeks, Gwen and I had been looking forward to attending our granddaughter’s performance in her middle school musical. She had been rehearsing for weeks and was excited to show us the finished product. Yet, there was a part of me that was a bit uneasy about going to the event.
I have been feeling better recently since the chemotherapy was backed out of my treatment, and for that I am grateful! And while it’s yet to be determined whether the remaining immunotherapy will keep the cancer at bay, for now, it feels good to not be feeling bad.
That’s not to say that there are no longer any challenges. For a time now, I have been struggling with some neuropathy (numbness) in my legs and feet. It’s a side effect of the medication I’m receiving. As such, I’m unsteady when I stand up and unsure in my walking.
Since Maddi’s performance was to be held in the school gymnasium, I knew the neuropathy would be an even greater challenge. The reason is that I would have to navigate the bleachers where the audience sat.
The good news is that I successfully managed to get up and down the steps. The bad news is that it was a struggle as I desperately held on to the railing with one hand and my son’s shoulder with the other, slowly inching my way up and down the stairs.
My weakness was on full display.
As we drove home, Gwen asked how I was feeling. My first response was, “I’m embarrassed. To publicly struggle like that was so humiliating.”
When I am weak…
This was a new experience for me. For over 70 years, I have lived and led out of strength—on my own…with my family…in my ministry. I was always the one who demonstrated resilience and offered assistance. I was always the one that others looked to, rather than being the one that others looked after.
And yet while this served me well and allowed me to have a platform to bless others, I think I have underestimated the value of weakness. Over these past few days, I’ve been asking myself, “Why is it important to embrace my weakness and not hide it?”
This is a topic deep enough to write books about, but here are a few thoughts that helped me.
Embracing my weakness…
Deepens relationships: Shame keeps us in hiding. It separates us. But honest vulnerability can begin to break the hold of shame. When I allow others to witness my struggle, it may free them to say, “Me, too.” Shame is lessened and intimacy is enhanced. As fellow strugglers, we can go through life side by side and hand in hand.
Increases authenticity: There’s an old adage that says, “Never trust someone who doesn’t walk with a limp.” While we may impress others by showing our strength, we impact others by sharing our weakness.
Facilitates growth: As long as we deny or seek to hide our weaknesses, we will never learn how to address them or to leverage them. Moreover, we will not see how the Lord can show Himself strong in them.
The Apostle Paul was one of the strongest, most gifted leaders who ever lived. Brilliant and resilient, he seemed to be a paragon of strength. And yet he recognized that there was real value in admitting to and displaying weakness. “When I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:10)
You have your points of strength and so do I. And to be sure, they can serve us well. So don’t be afraid to share them.
Yet we also have our fair share of weaknesses. And at times they can be of even greater value. So don’t be afraid to show them.
PRAYER REQUESTS
Here’s how you can pray for us in the coming days:
Next treatment is Tuesday, November 25. PRAY that the immunotherapy is effective at reducing the cancer and holding it at bay.
PRAY that the residual side effects of the neuropathy in Dave’s feet and the dry mouth issues are lessened quickly.
We meet with the DDM board next week. PRAY for wisdom as we seek to discern God’s plan for us and for the ministry in 2026.
Pray this Scripture for us: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Cor. 12:9)