The Gift of Tears
Jesus wept.
John 11:35
I had several tearful encounters last week. The first came from a veteran missionary who phoned Gwen and me, looking for some guidance in a truly heartbreaking situation. Before long, she was sobbing.
The second came from a coaching cohort I was leading where a group of pastors discussed “church wounds” and how to handle them. One of the men, after having shared, ducked his head. And when he lifted it again, his eyes were filled with tears.
Most of us are embarrassed to show our tears. To our way of thinking, it reveals weakness if not a lack of faith.
Yet tears are part of our humanity. Though some other species shed tears reflexively as a result of pain or irritation, humans are the only creatures whose tears can be triggered by their feelings.
In babies, tears have the obvious and crucial role of soliciting attention and care from adults. But what about in grown-ups? That’s less clear. It’s obvious that strong emotions prompt them, but why?
Relief Valve for the Body
Tears are actually a biological release triggered by a strong emotional experience. They are a relief valve of sorts for the body.
One professor of psychology put it this way: “Crying signals to yourself and other people that there’s some important problem that is at least temporarily beyond your ability to cope”. And that makes sense to me. A child will cry more easily than an adult. As we age, we find ways to sort out issues and find solutions so we cry less
However, tears can also come because we innately understand that things are simply not right. That this world truly is broken. And the fact that we and those we love are caught up in this brokenness triggers our emotion.
We see this in none other than Jesus. Upon the death of Lazarus and seeing his tomb and grieving sisters, Scripture says, “Jesus wept” (John 11:35).
Note that even though He eventually raised Lazarus from the dead, Jesus demonstrated His humanity in that He lamented what His friends were facing. And sharing His tears with those He loved was a gift to them.
A pastor named Josh Powell writes, “In Jesus, we do not have a King so lofty and above our difficulties that He sweeps away our tears with disdain. No, we have a King who has descended into the pain with us. You do not cry alone.”
Not Alone in Our Tears
We are created by God with the ability and urge to cry when our emotions move us. So shedding tears must be an important part of being human – a person composed of a body and a soul made in the image and likeness of God.
As such, let me encourage you to make room for tears in your relational world. Rather than being embarrassed or dismayed when someone weeps in your presence, legitimize it as a gift they have been given. And then thank them for sharing the gift of their tears with you.
Moreover, make room for tears in your emotional world. They allow others to enter into your pain and linger in it with you. And such shared sorrow can result in a whole new depth of relationship.
Finally, here’s something else worth considering. Did you know that God sees your tears and actually keeps a record of them? Consider these verses:
“I have heard your prayer; I have seen your tears” (2 Kings 20:5 – ESV).
“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” (Psalm 56:8 – NLT)
Friends, our tears matter to our Lord. They touch His heart. And they prompt His comfort. And that is no small thing.
No More Tears
However, there’s something else…something even better…that we would do well to understand. The time is coming when there will no longer need to be an occasion for tears.
When Jesus takes over once and for all, “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelation 21:4 – ESV)
I can’t wait for that day. And my guess is that tears will fill my eyes. But these will be tears of joy and celebration. So, I might well need a box of Kleenex – which I won’t mind at all.
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