Wounded By God's People
I’ve heard the statement made in a variety of ways, but the essence of it is this: “I still love Jesus, but I don’t attend church anymore.” When pressed for a reason, the response might include the busyness of life (“I simply don’t have the time”), or the irrelevance of a Sunday gathering (“I can encounter the Lord more intimately on my own”).
Yet, often looming beneath the surface is something darker: hurt, disappointment, or even abuse.
Everyone has been wounded…neglected…betrayed…by others. But as Anne Graham Lotz (if that name sounds familiar, this is the daughter of Billy Graham) looked back at her life, the sad truth is that her most painful wounds were inflicted by church people, God’s people. People she had grown to love and to trust, and who in the end wounded her severely.
Enemies cannot betray you. Only a friend can. That’s why the wounds we suffer at the hands of other believers always run deep and leave scars.
Anne shares her experiences of both hurt and healing in a book that I’d like to recommend to you. It’s titled, Wounded by God’s People. The book is highly personal and deeply troubling, yet it is also greatly encouraging.
Friendly Fire
Friendly fire is the term used to describe soldiers killed in the line of duty by their fellow fighters. In every conflict, the percentage of deaths attributed to this phenomenon is shocking. Yet it pales in comparison to the number of human hearts that have been brutalized and broken by fellow believers – people who were supposed to be fighting with us, not against us.
While Anne shares the pain she endured, she also admits how easily we can be the wounders. In reading about this, I came to realize that I’ve not only been on the receiving end of hurt but on the dispensing end.
A Biblical Case Study
Anne offers some great insights for both the wounded and the wounders through the biblical case study of a lesser-known Old Testament figure: Hagar. Hagar was an Egyptian slave who bore Abraham (Yes, that Abraham – the father of the faith) his son Ishmael.
Abused and exiled, Hagar suffered greatly at the hands of those who considered themselves God’s people. And the way God acted on her behalf can offer hope and healing to those who know what it’s like to be in her sandals.
One of the great verses in the account of Hagar is Genesis 16:13. Overwhelmed by the abuse and betrayal she endured, she did what many of us would do. She ran away. But there in her self-pity and anguish, the Lord came to her and offered a promise for a better future.
In that moment, Hagar came to know God in a way she never had before. She gave Him the name El-Roi, “You are the God who sees me.”
Anne Graham Lotz offers this counsel for those who, like Hagar, feel like the only answer to their pain is to run away.
“(Hagar) must have seen herself as a victim, a servant forced to do what Abraham and Sarah told her to do… But when she ran away from hurt and humiliation, she also ran away from God’s people, God’s presence, and God’s promises. And I wonder… was she also running away from God? Because if Sarah was any reflection of what He was like, it would have been understandable if Hagar had decided she never wanted to know Him.
“Whatever the circumstances of your wounding may be, don’t make Hagar’s mistake. Don’t blame God for the behavior of the people who have wounded you… Besides, running away never really solves anything, does it? It just delays dealing with whatever or whomever it is you are running from.”
The Healing Path
Maybe you are among those who have been wounded by God’s people and don’t want anything to do with the church anymore. Or perhaps you know someone who is living in a self-imposed exile, nursing their hurt.
In either case, I want to give you both hope and help. The God who sees you wants to bring healing to your heart. And as it does, you may rediscover that, for all of its flaws, the gathered body of Christ is still worth meeting with.
And by way of help for you or that friend, take a look at Wounded by God’s People by Anne Graham Lotz. It may be a key resource on the road to recovery.
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