A Place for Remorse
Let there be tears for the wrong things you have done. Let there be sorrow and sincere grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy.
James 4:19
In the gospel of Luke, a story is recorded that most of us are familiar with. But just recently I saw a line in it that struck me hard. Here’s the story.
One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret, the people were crowding around him and listening to the word of God. He saw at the water’s edge two boats, left there by the fishermen, who were washing their nets. He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat
When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.”
Simon answered, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.”
When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.
When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!” For he and all his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken… (Luke 5:1-9)
We typically look at this account and marvel at the “miracle catch” and shake our heads in wonder at Jesus’ power. And, to be sure, that’s something to take note of.
But I think there’s something else that we need to see. It’s in verse 8. When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “Go away from me, Lord; I am a sinful man!”
Peter recognized his sin (in this case it was unbelief, perhaps to the point of disgust at Jesus “naïve” suggestion). And he falls at Jesus’ feet the way a condemned peasant might fall before a king.
He recognizes his failure and is broken by it.
In our day we’re apt to look at this and say, “Hey, where’s your sense of self-esteem?” or “Don’t let religion make you feel bad about yourself.”
But not Peter. He is not simply aware of his sin. His actions – to fall on his knees and verbalize his condition – are expressions of remorse.
The Necessity of Remorse
That word, remorse, has fallen on hard times. It’s often lost in the context of amazing grace. We celebrate the beauty of forgiveness yet fail to lament the ugliness of our action.
The word remorse has fallen on hard times. It’s often lost in the context of amazing grace. We celebrate the beauty of forgiveness yet fail to lament the ugliness of our action.
I see this all the time. An action wounds another deeply and we glibly say, “I’m sorry if you got hurt…” Or we add some justification to our confession: “Maybe that wasn’t the best of responses, but what do you expect me to do in light of…” Or even a casual, “I hope you will forgive me for…”
Is it any wonder that such a remorseless confession doesn’t lead to relational restoration? And is it any wonder that sort of rationalized repentance doesn’t lead to a change of behavior?
Is it any wonder that remorseless confession doesn’t lead to relational restoration? That rationalized repentance doesn’t lead to a change of behavior?
This is the point that James is making. The Living Bible paraphrase of the verse noted above is helpful here. “Let there be tears for the wrong things you have done. Let there be sorrow and sincere grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy.”
Of course it does no good to try to conjure up miserable feelings when I blow it. But what I can do is look at my harmful words and deeds from the perspective of those I’ve hurt and from the perspective of the God who loves them (and me).
It does no good to conjure up miserable feelings when I blow it. But what I can do is look at my harmful words & deeds from the perspective of those I’ve hurt and from the perspective of the God who loves them (and me).
In 2 Corinthians 7:10, the Apostle Paul refers to this as “godly sorrow which…leaves no regret.” Why? Because having recognized the burden of one’s guilt, it can then be left at the foot of the cross.
In the words of one author, “Healthy remorse is a byproduct of the empathetic reflection of recovering sinners.” It’s part of a commitment to “go and sin no more” or at least to sin a lot less.
Remorse. It’s not an invitation to morbidity. It’s an invitation to maturity. And that deserves a place in all of our lives.
Remorse. It’s not an invitation to morbidity. It’s an invitation to maturity.
PRAYER
Lord, all too often my confession is simply a matter of telling You what I did and asking You to forgive me. It carries no sense of regret and no determination to change. I’m sorry for treating your grace in such a careless way. Help me to move to a place of godly sorrow that leads to genuine repentance.
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